Unfortunately winter is upon us, which means that the time of the year during which one can wash one’s car has basically ended. Alack! For the chance to wash one’s car is truly one of the greatest pleasures offered by car ownership, aside of course from speeding on country roads or from having an excuse to buy/own driving gloves. “But,” you might say, “I don’t want to wash my car. Washing my car is tedious and boring,” to which I’d respond with something offended along the lines of No, it is you who is tedious and boring! See, here’s the thing: we live in a world in which possession of materials (and the attendant dependency thereupon) is more or less unavoidable. We also live in a world in which these material things upon which we depend, and around which we arrange our lives, are prone to decay, i.e. everything falls apart. One can, however, belay to some extent this decay of the possessions one possesses by maintaining them – laundering one’s clothing, polishing one’s inherited silver, washing one’s car. And while one could easily take one’s car to a car wash – drive-in mechanical car washes are admittedly fun – washing one’s car by hand, as in with a bucket filled with a solution of Murphy Oil Soap & water, is so much more pleasurable. When one’s finished washing, and drying with old rags, one’s car, and when one has driven one’s car very fast indeed around one’s neighborhood to deal with any errant water droplets, one can then bask in the pleasure of seeing how clean and shiny one has just made one’s car, in a job well done etc. Also, it’s really easy and free, and you look like you need some fresh air so, you know, suck it up.
-Kevin O’Rourke
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