Surprisingly enough I slept last night. I was in bed by 11.30pm, and even though I had pretty much spent the whole of Sunday on the sofa … I got a really good night’s sleep.
AP called me at 9.15am to apologise for last night, I let him know my son was home on an inset day — he asked me if I wanted to talk about us at all, and I said yes, but another time as I couldn’t talk then. We agreed to speak later and at that point I started ringing around garages and my insurance company to try to sort out my car key.
I had an interesting afternoon when TW and AP turned up on my doorstep within minutes of each other! TW was dropping off my camera (which LC had picked up and taken home with her) and AP gave me a copy of my workshop key that he’d had cut for me. AP said he’d just come to drop that off and didn’t stay… TW and I then basically spent an hour or so going over the details of Saturday night because there are a LOT of things that don’t make sense.
All six of us drank around about the same. I’d mixed my drinks, but so had AN and she wasn’t anywhere near as hammered as TW and I were. LC and KA had been drinking all afternoon and MW had a bottle of wine before going out – none of them had eaten a thing and were still “drunk but compus-mentus” at the end of the night. It was only TW and I that ended up completely hammered. We think our drinks were spiked. I can easily drink two bottles of wine to myself at home and still stagger up the stairs to bed. I may fall over a lot and walk into things, but I am still aware of what I am doing and I remember everything. TW and I worked out that we’d drunk about a bottle and a half of wine to two bottles each – no MORE than that and I did have a couple of vodkas as well at the very start of the evening.
But still … she and I ended up losing each other in town, TW walked home and I got a ride in a shiny police car back to TW’s place! I don’t remember that bit. Apparently TW’s boyfriend had to chase me up the road when I decided that I was going home (yeah, I wasn’t going anywhere in that state!!) then when I was back in the house I apparently fell out of the toilet onto the floor too!
Meanwhile, I rang AP after TW had left to thank him for dropping off the work key. He’s coming over later this evening to talk and he’s already said he loves me and misses me. I didn’t say it back … if we are going to talk, then we’re going to talk and there has to be a hell of a lot of talking before we can even think about starting anything up again. He said to me last night that he doesn’t think he can give me what I needs and that he doesn’t think he is the right man for me. It pains me to agree with him … it hurts – so much. I’ve loved this man for so many years and never quite been able to let go of him, but I also know that there is so much that just isn’t right and isn’t what I want or need. How we ended up just arguing out of the blue before I went out for one thing …
Car key update – I’ve found a mobile locksmith that can get to me tomorrow morning. It’s going to cost me £160 for two replacement keys, but thats MUCH cheaper than the £350 that I was quoted by a ford dealer and he can get over asap after the school run!
Monday …. what a bloody day and a half …
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